I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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