She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
it's like iHOP with fire
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
