this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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