We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
