you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
