Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
