He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
