THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
