wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
