hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
