so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
