I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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