He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
