At least make sure they are 18
Why
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
