belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
