I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
