Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
