does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
