just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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