Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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