He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He better not be in your backpack
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
