He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize