Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
