Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I forget how to act sober
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
