I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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