New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
