Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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