The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You can't motorboat a personality
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
