i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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