worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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