I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
