Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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