He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
