I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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