Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
