im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm passing your future prison.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We have so much sex to catch up on
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
