Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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