ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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