I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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