Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
