dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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