How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
