I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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