I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
