I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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