You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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