ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
