You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
