just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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