dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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