he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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