she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I supernannyed him into submission
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
