why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
