yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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