id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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