you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just pee around me
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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