I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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