Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
