**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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