"it" just moved
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
