he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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