pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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