So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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