A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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