put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
