would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
