Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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