Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
