I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
