dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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