Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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