Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
