Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
