Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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