I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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